How We Got My Mom 24/7 Nursing Home Care Without Selling Her House

How We Got My Mom 24/7 Nursing Home Care Without Selling Her House

The Home She Built, The Legacy We Protected

When my mom needed nursing home care, my first thought was her little house. It was her whole world, the place we all gathered. We were terrified that Medicaid would force us to sell it to pay for her care. An elder law attorney showed us the way. Because Mom had an “intent to return home”—even if it was unlikely—her primary residence was an exempt asset. We didn’t have to sell her home. Medicaid covered her nursing home bills, and her house was safe, preserved for our family’s future and her memory.

The 5-Year Look-Back Period: How We Legally Gifted Assets and Still Got Dad on Medicaid

The Clock Was Ticking on My Dad’s Legacy

We knew my dad would eventually need long-term care, and we had heard about Medicaid’s dreaded “five-year look-back period.” This rule penalizes you for giving away money right before you apply. We started early. More than five years before he needed care, we worked with a lawyer to help my dad legally gift a portion of his savings to his grandchildren for their college education. Because we did it outside of that five-year window, when it came time for him to apply for Medicaid, those gifts were not a factor. Planning ahead was everything.

My Parents Had $100,000 in Savings. Here’s How They Still Qualified for Long-Term Care Medicaid.

The Myth of Having to Be Broke

My parents were proud savers. They had accumulated $100,000 for their retirement. When Dad needed nursing home care, they thought they’d have to spend every penny before Medicaid would help. A social worker explained the “spend-down” strategy. They didn’t just have to waste the money. They used it to pay for things Medicaid wouldn’t cover, like a private room at the facility, a new, comfortable recliner for his room, and pre-paying for their own funeral expenses. They legally “spent down” their assets on his care and comfort, and then Medicaid picked up the rest.

The “Spousal Impoverishment” Law That Saved My Mom from Financial Ruin When Dad Got Sick

His Illness Didn’t Have to Bankrupt Her

When my father’s Alzheimer’s required him to enter a nursing home, my mother was terrified. She thought she would have to spend their entire life savings on his care, leaving her with nothing. We learned about the “Community Spouse Resource Allowance,” a federal law designed to prevent spousal impoverishment. This law allowed my mom to keep their house, a car, and a significant portion of their savings for her own living expenses. It ensured that one spouse’s catastrophic illness did not force the other into poverty. My dad got the care he needed, and my mom was secure.

How I Got Paid By Medicaid to Be My Own Mother’s Full-Time Caregiver

I Couldn’t Afford to Care for Her, Until I Could

I had to quit my job to become the full-time caregiver for my mom, who wanted to stay in her own home. It was a labor of love, but I had no income. We discovered a Medicaid waiver program in our state called “Cash and Counseling.” It allows the person receiving care to hire their own caregiver, including a family member. My mom was approved for the program, and she was able to use the funds to pay me a modest hourly wage for the care I was already providing. It was a lifeline that allowed me to keep caring for her.

Assisted Living vs. Nursing Home: Which One Will Medicaid Actually Pay For?

The Critical Difference in Coverage

My grandmother was getting frail and needed help, but not the 24/7 medical care of a nursing home. An assisted living facility seemed perfect. We were shocked to learn that in our state, Medicaid does not pay for the “room and board” portion of assisted living. It only helps with medical services provided there. However, Medicaid does cover the entire cost of a nursing home for those who qualify. Understanding this key distinction was crucial. We realized we needed to find a different solution to help her afford the assisted living rent.

The “Irrevocable Trust” We Used to Protect My Parents’ Legacy from the Nursing Home

The Legal Shield Around Our Family Home

My parents’ biggest fear was that the cost of long-term care would eat up their life savings and force the sale of the family home they wanted to pass down to us. We worked with an elder law attorney more than five years before they needed care. He helped them create an “irrevocable trust” and transfer the house into it. They could still live in the house, but they no longer legally owned it. When my dad later needed Medicaid, the house was not a countable asset. The trust was a legal shield that protected our family’s legacy.

“They Told Us We Had to Spend Everything.” The Truth About “Spending Down” for Medicaid.

Spending Down Smart, Not Spending Down to Zero

The nursing home’s admissions director told us my mom had to have less than $2,000 in the bank to qualify for Medicaid. She made it sound like we had to just waste my mom’s savings. A geriatric care manager showed us the smart way to “spend down.” We used my mom’s savings to pay for things that would improve her quality of life: we pre-paid for her funeral, bought her a new television for her room, and paid off her old credit card debt. We legally and ethically spent her assets on her, and then she qualified.

The “Child Caregiver Exemption” That Let Me Inherit My Mom’s House, Tax-Free

The Care I Gave Came Back to Me

I moved back home and was my mother’s full-time caregiver for three years, which allowed her to stay out of a nursing home. When she finally did need to go into a facility, we learned about the “child caregiver exemption.” It’s a Medicaid rule that says if a child has lived with and cared for a parent for at least two years, allowing them to delay nursing home care, the parent can transfer their home to that child without penalty. Because of the care I provided, my mom’s house was transferred to me, protecting it from Medicaid estate recovery.

The Unspoken Reality of a Medicaid-Funded Nursing Home (And How to Find a Great One)

Finding the Gem Among the Stones

The words “Medicaid nursing home” scared me. I pictured a sad, neglected place. When my dad needed care, I learned that the quality has nothing to do with the payment source. Many excellent, highly-rated nursing homes accept Medicaid. The key was to do our homework. We used the official “Medicare Care Compare” website to look up ratings. We toured three different facilities. We found a wonderful, clean, and caring non-profit home that had Medicaid beds available. The reality is, you have to shop for a nursing home just like you would for anything else.

How a “Medicaid Compliant Annuity” Made My Dad Instantly Eligible for Care

The Financial Product That Solved Our Problem

My dad needed nursing home care immediately, but he had too much money in savings to qualify for Medicaid. We didn’t have five years to plan. An elder law attorney suggested a “Medicaid Compliant Annuity.” We used his excess savings to purchase a special type of annuity. This financial product converted a lump-sum asset (cash) into a monthly income stream for my dad. This move instantly reduced his countable assets to almost zero, making him eligible for Medicaid to cover the bulk of his care costs. It was a powerful, legal, last-minute strategy.

What Happens to Dad’s Pension and Social Security When He’s on Medicaid? A Step-by-Step Guide.

His Income Went to His Care

When my dad went into a nursing home and got on Medicaid, we wondered what would happen to his monthly Social Security and pension checks. The rule was simple. He was allowed to keep a small “personal needs allowance” every month—around $50 in our state—to buy things like snacks or magazines. The rest of his monthly income had to be paid directly to the nursing home. Then, Medicaid paid the difference. His income didn’t just disappear; it became his “co-pay” for his own care.

The “Intent to Return Home” Rule: A Loophole That Can Save Your House.

The Hope That Protected Her Home

My grandmother had to go into a nursing home after a bad fall. Her only real asset was her house. We were terrified she would lose it. The Medicaid caseworker told us about the “intent to return home” rule. As long as my grandmother, or we on her behalf, signed a document stating that she intended to return to her home if her health ever improved, the house remained an exempt, non-countable asset. Even though we knew it was unlikely she would ever go back, her stated intent was the legal loophole that protected her home.

A Caregiver’s Guide to Dealing with the Medicaid Office Without Losing Your Mind.

My Sanity-Saving Strategies

Dealing with the Medicaid office while caring for my sick father was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. I developed a few rules to stay sane. First, I was always, always polite to the caseworkers. Second, I kept a detailed log of every phone call, including the date and the person I spoke with. Third, I never sent a document without getting a receipt or confirmation. And fourth, when I felt overwhelmed, I would step away for a day. The bureaucracy is a marathon, not a sprint. Pacing myself was key.

The Dangers of “Gifting” Money to Your Kids: How to Do It the Right Way.

The Gift That Almost Cost Us Everything

A year before my mom needed Medicaid, she gave my brother and me each $10,000. It was a generous gift, but it was a huge mistake. When she applied for Medicaid, the “look-back” period uncovered those gifts. Medicaid considered it an attempt to hide assets. They imposed a “penalty period,” refusing to cover her care for several months, the value of which was equal to the gifts she gave. We learned the hard way that you cannot simply give away money to qualify. All asset transfers have to be done legally and carefully, well in advance.

How to Find an Elder Law Attorney Who Won’t Rip You Off.

My Search for a Trustworthy Guide

We knew we needed an elder law attorney to help us with my parents’ Medicaid planning, but we were scared of being taken advantage of. Our search for the right lawyer was methodical. We didn’t just Google. We asked for a referral from my dad’s geriatric doctor. We also checked with the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) for certified attorneys in our area. We interviewed two different lawyers and asked for their fee structure upfront. This careful process helped us find a knowledgeable and trustworthy guide for our family’s future.

My Mom Needs Memory Care. Here’s How We’re Getting Medicaid to Help Pay for It.

The Tangled Path to Memory Care Coverage

My mom’s dementia meant she needed a secure memory care unit, which is often more expensive than standard assisted living. We learned that while Medicaid in our state won’t pay for the “room and board” part of the facility, it can help through a “Home and Community-Based Services” waiver. This waiver program pays for the care services she receives in the facility, like medication management and personal assistance. We still have to pay for the rent privately, but having Medicaid cover all the care costs makes it much more affordable.

The “Level of Care” Assessment: How to Prepare Your Parent So They Qualify.

The Test We Had to Pass

To qualify for nursing home Medicaid, my father had to pass a “Level of Care” assessment to prove he truly needed that high level of medical supervision. We prepared for it like it was a final exam. We made a detailed list of all his “activities of daily living” that he needed help with—bathing, dressing, eating. We got a letter from his doctor clearly stating his medical diagnoses and his need for 24/7 nursing supervision. By presenting a clear, documented case, we ensured the assessor understood the full extent of his needs, and he was approved.

Can They Force Me to Pay for My Parents’ Care? The Truth About Filial Responsibility Laws.

The Law That Scared Me, and the Truth That Freed Me

I read an article about “filial responsibility laws” and was terrified. It said that in some states, adult children can be held legally responsible for their parents’ nursing home bills. I thought I would be on the hook for my mom’s care. I spoke to a lawyer who gave me the truth. While these laws do exist in some states, they are almost never, ever enforced. They are relics from a bygone era. He assured me that I could not be forced to pay for my mother’s care.

How a “Life Estate” Can Backfire and Ruin Your Medicaid Plan.

The “Simple” Solution That Became a Nightmare

To protect their house, my parents set up a “Life Estate.” It seemed simple: they could live in the house for the rest of their lives, and it would automatically pass to me when they died. But when my dad needed Medicaid, we learned it was a huge problem. Because my dad still held the “life estate,” Medicaid considered its value as a countable asset. Worse, we couldn’t sell the house without the state’s permission. We had to go through a complicated legal process to undo the life estate. It was a “simple” solution that backfired badly.

What to Do With Your Parents’ Life Insurance Policies and Retirement Accounts.

The Assets We Thought We Couldn’t Touch

My dad had a life insurance policy with a $10,000 cash value and a small IRA. We thought these would disqualify him from Medicaid. An elder law attorney showed us the right way to handle them. We cashed out the life insurance policy. We then used that cash to pay for an upgraded private room at the nursing home for the first few months. For the IRA, we had to start taking regular, structured withdrawals. That withdrawal amount was then counted as part of his monthly income that went toward his care.

“Medicaid Pending”: How to Navigate the Terrifying Limbo Period with a Nursing Home.

The Waiting Game

We moved my mom into a nursing home and submitted her Medicaid application on the same day. For the next three months, her status was “Medicaid Pending.” It was a terrifying limbo. The nursing home was sending us bills for thousands of dollars, knowing we couldn’t pay them. The key was constant communication. I provided the nursing home’s business office with a copy of the filed application. I gave them weekly updates on my calls with the caseworker. This showed them we were acting in good faith. When the application was finally approved, it was retroactive, and the scary bills disappeared.

How to Manage Your Parent’s Tiny “Personal Needs Allowance” Each Month.

Making the Most of His Monthly Pocket Money

Once my dad was on Medicaid in the nursing home, almost all of his Social Security income went to the facility. But he was allowed to keep a small “Personal Needs Allowance” each month, which was $60 in our state. I set up a separate bank account just for this allowance. Every month, I used that money to buy him the things that brought him a little joy: his favorite magazines, new socks, a subscription to an oldies music service, and taking him out for an ice cream cone. It was his money, and it was my job to make sure it was used for his happiness.

The Emotional Toll of Medicaid Planning: A Guide for the “Sandwich Generation.”

Squeezed Between My Kids and My Parents

I was trying to navigate the Medicaid application for my aging mother while also raising my own two teenage children. I felt stretched to my breaking point. The emotional toll was immense. I felt guilty, sad, and overwhelmed by the bureaucracy. My saving grace was a local caregiver support group I found through the hospital. Talking to other people who were in the exact same “sandwich generation” crisis made me feel less alone. Sharing our stories and our frustrations was a form of therapy that helped me survive.

We Were Denied Long-Term Care. Here’s How We Won the Appeal.

The Denial Was a Detour, Not a Dead End

The denial letter for my mom’s long-term care Medicaid felt like a catastrophe. The reason was that they had miscalculated her assets. We didn’t panic. We filed for a “fair hearing” immediately. Then, we gathered our evidence. We got a new, official bank statement showing the correct balance. We also got a letter from the bank manager explaining the error. At the hearing, we didn’t argue or get emotional. We simply presented the new evidence. The hearing officer saw the state’s mistake clearly, and the denial was overturned.

State-by-State Differences in Long-Term Care Rules You Absolutely Must Know.

The Border That Changed Everything

My aunt lived in Pennsylvania, and my uncle lived just across the border in New Jersey. They both needed nursing home care. We were shocked to find how different the Medicaid rules were, just a few miles apart. Pennsylvania had more generous asset protection rules for the healthy spouse. New Jersey had more expansive programs for in-home care. We learned a crucial lesson: long-term care Medicaid is a partnership between the federal government and the states. You absolutely must research the specific rules for the state where your loved one lives.

How to Transition a Loved One from a Hospital to a Medicaid-Funded Facility.

The Journey From Hospital Bed to Nursing Home

My father had a stroke and could no longer live alone. The hospital’s discharge planner told us he needed to be moved to a skilled nursing facility. The process was a whirlwind. While my dad was still in the hospital, we were simultaneously touring nursing homes and filling out his Medicaid application. The hospital’s social worker was our quarterback. She helped us find a facility that had an available “Medicaid bed” and faxed his medical records over to them. She made sure the transition was as smooth as possible during a very chaotic time.

What Happens if a Medicaid Recipient Suddenly Inherits Money?

The Inheritance That Almost Caused a Crisis

My uncle was in a nursing home on Medicaid when his brother passed away and left him a surprise inheritance of $50,000. We knew the money would immediately make him ineligible for his benefits. We had to act fast. We hired an elder law attorney who helped us create a “Special Needs Trust.” The inheritance money went directly into the trust. This meant my uncle could use the money to pay for things Medicaid didn’t cover, like a new wheelchair, but the money didn’t count as his personal asset. The trust protected his inheritance and his healthcare.

PACE Programs: The All-Inclusive Senior Care Option You’ve Never Heard Of.

The Program That Keeps Seniors at Home

My grandmother needed a high level of care, but she was terrified of going to a nursing home. We found a program called PACE, which stands for Programs of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly. It was a game-changer. PACE is a complete health plan covered by Medicare and Medicaid. She goes to a local PACE center a few days a week for her medical care, meals, and social activities. They even provide transportation. It’s a program designed to provide all the services of a nursing home while allowing seniors to continue living in their own homes.

The Complete Document Checklist for a Flawless Long-Term Care Application.

The Paper Chase That Led to Peace of Mind

Applying for long-term care Medicaid for my dad was a massive paper chase. I created a checklist to keep my sanity. It included: five years of his bank statements, his Social Security and pension award letters, his life insurance policy documents, the deed to his house, his car title, his Medicare card, and his birth certificate. It took me a full week to gather everything. But when I submitted the application, it was so complete and organized that the caseworker told me it was one of the cleanest files she had ever seen. It was approved quickly.

Protecting the Family Farm or Business from Medicaid Estate Recovery.

The Farm We Fought to Keep

Our family farm had been passed down for generations. When my grandfather needed nursing home care, our biggest fear was that the state would take the farm to pay for his bills after he died. We worked with an elder law attorney who specialized in agricultural families. He helped my grandfather transfer the farm into an irrevocable trust. This moved the farm out of his “probate estate.” Because of this careful, legal planning done years in advance, when my grandfather passed away, the farm was protected from Medicaid estate recovery and stayed in our family.

What Are Your Rights as a Resident in a Medicaid Nursing Facility?

The Rights That Protected My Mom’s Dignity

When my mom moved into a nursing home, I was worried she would lose all her autonomy. The facility’s social worker gave me a copy of the “Residents’ Bill of Rights.” I learned my mom had the right to be treated with dignity, the right to participate in her own care planning, the right to manage her own finances (including her personal needs allowance), and the right to be free from physical or chemical restraints. Knowing these legally protected rights empowered me to be a better advocate for her, ensuring she was always treated with the respect she deserved.

How to Coordinate VA “Aid and Attendance” with Medicaid Benefits.

The Two Benefits That Worked Together

My father was a veteran, and he was also low-income. We learned he was potentially eligible for two different benefits to help with his care: Medicaid and a special pension from the VA called “Aid and Attendance.” Navigating the two bureaucracies was tricky. We worked with a Veterans Service Officer. He helped us understand that we could not receive both benefits at the same time for the same purpose. We had to choose which benefit was greater for his specific situation. In our case, Medicaid provided a more comprehensive benefit, so we chose that path.

The “Special Needs Trust” That Provided for My Disabled Sibling After My Parents Passed.

The Trust That Continued Their Care

My parents’ greatest worry was what would happen to my disabled sister after they were gone. My sister relies on Medicaid and other government benefits. If she inherited their house and savings directly, it would disqualify her from those essential programs. My parents worked with a lawyer to create a “Special Needs Trust.” They left all their assets to the trust, not to my sister. I became the trustee. This allowed me to use the funds to pay for things that improved her quality of life, without ever jeopardizing the government benefits she depends on.

How to Handle Disagreements with Siblings During the Medicaid Planning Process.

The Family Meeting That Saved Our Family

When it came time to make Medicaid decisions for my mom, my brother and I had very different ideas. The stress was tearing our family apart. We finally agreed to hire a geriatric care manager to act as a neutral mediator. She sat down with all of us. She didn’t take sides. She just laid out all the options and the consequences of each one, from a neutral, expert perspective. Her guidance helped us find a compromise we could all live with. That one meeting probably saved our relationship.

The Truth About “Medicad Beds” and Nursing Home Waiting Lists.

The Bed We Had to Fight For

We found a wonderful nursing home for my mom, but they told us they had “no Medicaid beds available” and put her on a long waiting list. We learned the hard truth. While a nursing home may accept Medicaid, they often have a limited number of beds they will fill with Medicaid patients, preferring higher-paying private pay residents. We had to be persistent. We called the admissions director every single week, politely checking on the status of the list. After two months of our polite persistence, a “Medicaid bed” finally opened up.

Can Medicaid Pay for Modifications to Make a Home More Accessible?

The Ramp That Brought My Dad Home

My dad was in a rehab facility after a stroke, and he now used a wheelchair. He couldn’t come home until our house was accessible. We couldn’t afford to build a ramp. We discovered a Medicaid “Home and Community-Based Services” waiver program. Through this program, Medicaid paid for a contractor to come and build a sturdy, safe wheelchair ramp at our front door and install grab bars in the bathroom. These simple modifications made our home safe for him and allowed him to finally come home instead of going to a nursing home.

How to Report Suspected Elder Abuse in a Medicaid Facility.

The Phone Call I Prayed I’d Never Have to Make

I started noticing some bruises on my grandfather’s arms during my visits to his nursing home. The staff was dismissive when I asked about them. I suspected he was being mistreated. I felt sick, but I knew I had to act. I called my state’s Adult Protective Services hotline and made a confidential report. An investigator came to the facility the very next day. My report triggered an official investigation that ultimately protected my grandfather and other vulnerable residents. It was the hardest, but most important, phone call I have ever made.

The Pros and Cons of “Spousal Refusal” in Long-Term Care Planning.

The Drastic Move We Didn’t Have to Make

When my dad needed Medicaid for nursing home care, a friend mentioned “spousal refusal.” It’s a strategy where the healthy spouse (my mom) could legally refuse to contribute to the cost of care, which would make my dad instantly eligible for Medicaid. The pro was that it would protect all their assets. The con was that the state could then sue my mother to recoup the costs. It was a very aggressive and stressful strategy. We ultimately decided against it and used more conventional planning, but it’s a powerful last-ditch option for some families.

The #1 Regret Families Have About Long-Term Care Planning (And How to Avoid It).

The Conversation We Had Too Late

My father had a sudden stroke, and overnight, our family was thrown into a long-term care crisis. We had never talked about it. We had no idea what his wishes were. We didn’t know where his financial documents were. We were making huge, life-altering decisions in a state of grief and panic. Our biggest regret was that we waited for a crisis to happen. The number one thing I tell my friends now is to have “the conversation” with your parents while they are still healthy. It’s an act of love.

A Guide to Hospice Care and How Medicaid Covers End-of-Life Comfort.

The Peaceful End That Was Fully Covered

When my mother’s cancer became terminal, her doctor recommended hospice care. Our family wanted her to be comfortable and at peace in her final days, but we worried about the cost. We learned that the hospice benefit is covered 100% by Medicare, and for low-income seniors, Medicaid will cover any co-pays or costs that Medicare doesn’t. My mother received incredible, compassionate care at home—a hospital bed, nursing visits, pain management—and we never saw a single bill. It allowed us to focus on her, not on money.

How to Sell a Home for a Parent on Medicaid Without Messing Up Their Benefits.

The Sale We Had to Time Perfectly

My mom was on Medicaid in a nursing home, and we needed to sell her house to help pay for some of her extra needs. We had to be incredibly careful. If we just sold the house and put the cash in her bank account, it would make her instantly ineligible for Medicaid. We worked with a lawyer. We timed the sale of the house to coincide with a plan to “spend down” the proceeds on her care—things like a new wheelchair and pre-paying her funeral. The timing and documentation were critical to prevent a lapse in her coverage.

The Role of a Geriatric Care Manager in Your Medicaid Journey.

The Quarterback We Hired for Our Family

The process of finding a nursing home and applying for Medicaid for my dad was a full-time job. Our family was overwhelmed. We decided to hire a “geriatric care manager.” She was a licensed social worker who was an expert in local senior resources. She helped us find the right facility, navigated the complicated Medicaid application, and even helped us mediate family disagreements. She was the professional, neutral quarterback our family team needed. Her fee was worth every single penny in stress reduction and peace of mind.

Understanding “Estate Recovery”: Will the State Take My Mom’s House When She Dies?

The Bill That Came After the Funeral

After my mom passed away, we received a letter from the state’s Medicaid “Estate Recovery” program. It was a bill for the total amount Medicaid had paid for her nursing home care. We were shocked. We learned that while the state can’t take your house while you are alive, they can try to recoup their costs from your estate after you die. However, because we had worked with a lawyer to put my mom’s house in an irrevocable trust five years earlier, the house was not part of her estate. It was protected.

How a “Personal Services Contract” Can Legally Transfer Assets to a Family Member.

The Contract That Paid Me for the Care I Was Already Giving

My elderly father wanted to give me some of his savings, but we knew that a simple “gift” would be penalized by Medicaid. Instead, we worked with an elder law attorney to create a “Personal Services Contract.” It was a formal agreement that paid me a reasonable, documented wage for the caregiving services I was providing him—driving him to appointments, managing his medications, etc. The payments were for services rendered, not a gift. It was a legal way for him to compensate me for my work and reduce his assets.

Navigating Long-Term Care for a Parent with Severe Mental Illness.

The Care He Needed, the Stigma We Fought

My father’s schizophrenia made finding a long-term care facility incredibly difficult. Many nursing homes are not equipped to handle residents with severe mental illness. We had to find a facility with a specialized “behavioral unit.” The hospital social worker was our best resource. She knew which local facilities had these units and accepted Medicaid. The application process was the same, but we had to provide extensive documentation from his psychiatrist to prove his “level of care” need. It was a long road, but we found a place that could care for him safely.

The Difference Between “Custodial” and “Skilled” Care (And Why It’s a Million-Dollar Difference).

The Two Words That Determine Everything

My grandmother needed help with daily activities like bathing and dressing. This is called “custodial care.” My grandfather needed post-surgery wound care and physical therapy from a nurse. This is called “skilled care.” The difference is crucial. Medicare will not pay for long-term custodial care. It will only pay for short-term skilled care. Medicaid, on the other hand, will pay for long-term custodial care in a nursing home for those who are financially eligible. Understanding these two terms is the key to knowing which benefit will pay the bill.

How to Handle Your Parent’s Car and Other Personal Belongings.

The Car We Had to Sell

When my dad went into a nursing home on Medicaid, we had to figure out what to do with his car and his belongings. We learned that for Medicaid eligibility, he was allowed to keep one car, but since he would never drive again, we decided to sell it. We had to document the sale carefully. The money from the sale then became a countable asset. We had to “spend down” that money on his care and personal needs before he could be fully eligible. We kept his sentimental belongings at our house for him.

A 10-Year Plan: How to Prepare for Your Own Future Long-Term Care Needs.

The Plan I Made for Myself, So My Kids Won’t Have To

After going through the Medicaid crisis with my parents, I swore I would not do that to my own children. I sat down and made a 10-year plan for my own future. First, I bought a long-term care insurance policy while I was still young and healthy enough to afford it. Second, I met with an estate planning attorney to create a trust for my own assets. Third, I had open conversations with my kids about my wishes. Planning for my own long-term care decades in advance is the greatest gift I can give them.

The One Conversation You Must Have With Your Aging Parents This Year.

The Talk That Is an Act of Love

It was the conversation my siblings and I dreaded: talking to our fiercely independent parents about “what if.” What if one of you gets sick? What are your wishes for your care? Where are your important documents? We finally sat down with them. It was awkward at first, but it became a conversation of incredible love and clarity. We learned about their finances, their fears, and their hopes. Having that one, difficult conversation while they were still healthy gave us a roadmap that made navigating the crisis, when it came, so much easier.